127 Comments
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Victoria's avatar

I want to comment because this was the most amazing read despite being physically painful to ingest. I am at a loss for words. Thank you for writing it.

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asa's avatar

thank you sm for your kind words ❤️‍🔥

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Sierra S's avatar

Exactly this. Just wow.

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giovana's avatar

Exactly!!!

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OMO IGBO's avatar

Did we all live the same life as teenagers or was the foundation of the world just built by the same versions of evil men who exploit young clueless girls?

Thank you for this piece!

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asa's avatar

i definitely think option 2 and thank you so much <3!

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Nagaramama's avatar

Option 2, definitely. I lived the same thing. Half a world away.

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asa's avatar

<333

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AB's avatar

Felt this so hard

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Vosh's avatar

Maybe it also starts by teaching girls to be less clueless? I take issue with how the author puts blame on the nightclub owners for selling access to young women, without also laying blame equally on the women who buy into it. It’s not mind control it’s economics. If young girls didn’t want to get drunk underage and party for free then nightclubs wouldn’t exist as a business.

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Lee West's avatar

I’m enjoying watching your style evolve. Although I can’t identify with your perspective (as someone who lived as a buff white college boy once), the way you write is still accessible. I’m envious: I don’t have the ability to write with such poise in such messy topics. You have a gift, thank you for sharing it.

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asa's avatar

thank you so much lee, i miss seeing you around <3

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Nikia Bella's avatar

That last line was insane. “They’d been expecting me.” My heart sunk

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asa's avatar

thank you so much <3!

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Anyeri's avatar

I love this. not gonna lie tho but my inner 12 year old is jealous of the “freedom” your 12 year old self had. I was raised by very strict conservative catholic latino parents who watched me like a hawk and basically kept me locked up in the house unless I was going to school or church. So I was always so jealous of the girls who were going out and having fun. and would come back with cool stories about their summer adventures. in alot of ways this entrapment has made me a HUGE freedom seeker today. but i guess im grateful somewhat for my parents overly protection cus who knows what couldve happened. however as a mom now of a soon pre teen girl, I will remember these words and will do my best to help her find that balance between her own yearning of freedom and protection as I gently remind her she is still a child💗

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asa's avatar

i think balance is definitely best. although, im not quite sure what that looks like. i hope we both figure it out for our girls ❤️‍🔥

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Queen Kwong's avatar

every little girl knows this story too well. thanks for telling it so beautifully. xx

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asa's avatar

thank you so much ❤️‍🔥

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Nũnũ's avatar

"if you look around and you can’t figure out what a business is selling you, they’re selling you. " I first heard a version of this sentence in a social media training session. The facilitator pointed out social media platforms are free to join, but our attention is what's on sale, it's what we trade in exchange.

We not only need to protect our girls from visible dangers, social media platforms carry their own hidden (invisible) dangers lurking behind anonymous names, brands and trends.

Thank you for this post.

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asa's avatar

i agree! and thank you so much ❤️‍🔥

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Noor RC's avatar

Hurtful heart! I wish our society did a better job protecting childhood innocence. My mother protected us like a bird under her wings. Grew up very naive and immature. Always thought girls should know better. But realized after reading your thoughts, how powerful and dangerous forces are at play. Wish whole village could come together to save children.

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asa's avatar

i wish this too ❤️‍🔥

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Noor RC's avatar

Beautifully written! My mother overprotected us like a bird under her wings. Very naive and not realistic. Always thought girls should know better but after reading your article had tears for your 12 year old self. Lot of dangerous influences at play. Takes a village to raise and protect childhood innocence for the betterment of the society. Painfully, deteriorating of the society is getting worse.

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asa's avatar

thank you so much ❤️‍🔥 and i agree, its such a reflection of society how we treat children

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é ela Ana's avatar

i haven’t found the right words… but i just want to say that what you wrote here felt so important to me ❤️

It’s so real and heartbreaking.

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asa's avatar

it’s an honor to write something you see yourself in <3

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Carole Kupper's avatar

this was one of the best thing I've read on here, how individual experiences collapse with the universality of girlhood and the hard realisation of girls' exploitations years later. just perfect

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asa's avatar

thank you so much ❤️‍🔥

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Samantha Lazo's avatar

This left me without words, I only have rage. Thank you for this.

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asa's avatar

tysm ❤️‍🔥🙏

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philomena marie's avatar

this is so wonderful and unfortunately relatable, as always!

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asa's avatar

tysm ❤️‍🔥

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Anna Judd's avatar

Every point you make hits home. I'm gobsmacked when I meet 12 year old girls today. They are babies. I think about what happened to me when I was 12. Your writing was beautifully raw and gave voice to so many complicated emotions I have never voiced to a soul. I have always laughed it off, excused it as young stupidity, blamed myself. This piece acts as permission for me- permission to wish that someone could have protected me, explained things to me, given me the things I needed. Thank you Asa.

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asa's avatar

thank you so much for this comment. this was my every intention with this piece. to free ourselves from blame and shame <3

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Pearl's avatar

I just restacked because what!!!

This piece brought a few tears to my eyes.

Thank you

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asa's avatar

thank you so much <3

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Cheryl.wtf's avatar

Your good little girl references struck a deep cord. I published this a few weeks ago that you might appreciate https://medium.com/cheryl-wtf/a-billion-gazillion-trillion-painfully-polite-years-bc2b858dfbf7?sk=4ea7286ee9a59371c576c4254cd260ec

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asa's avatar

tysm for sharing, im so sorry this happened to you. it was absolutely a stunning read ❤️‍🔥

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Cheryl.wtf's avatar

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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